(A) You would automatically say “hey pal, come on! That’s okay no big fuss, we can support you la, chill.. maybe next time you can treat me when I’m broke right, no big deal, there is no way one of us will be left behind..” –with that you smiled, he/she would definitely say thanks though politely refused at first but after the crowd at the table persuaded so, no choice but to modestly accept the generosity-- problem solved, after dinner, all of you happily went to the cinema and enjoyed the movie- end of story, you are such a good friend and everyone is happy. …..OR…..
(B) You were surprised that he/she said that, but somehow able to say something to get out of that awkward situation, “oh that’s too bad, that’s okay, next time then” –it was brief and direct. End of discussion. Somehow you wished that you had something else to say but you didn’t. The crowd around that table silently agreed with you as they didn’t utter a single word and the fun was somehow cut off. The atmosphere around you suddenly changed—slightly less cheerful than before, there was no more fun because no more plan afterwards—you decided not to go to the cinema since you think it was noble of you not to do so when one of your friends wasn’t able to pay for the average rm10/12 movie ticket. The rule was, if one couldn’t go. All shouldn’t go. But the weird thing is, after that incident, the crowd gradually drifted away from that one particular broke-friend. The next plan is-- NOT to include her/him since it will ruin the excitement if he/she ended up not having enough cash to join the “fun-circle of friend”.. No one wants to be responsible or a total angel who always sacrifices her/himself for the sake of ‘friend’. After all, is it ‘that’s what friends are for’ OR ‘what friends are for’?
Nowadays everyone needs money and nothing is free. So it becomes an issue. How much can you afford to have a friend or indeed a true friend? Seriously, in the name of friends? Who says friendships are free? Who says everyone can be ‘Paris Hilton’s BFF’? If you watched that reality tv show. PLEASE turn it off immediately, I repeat... immediately before it causes you a fatal brain damage. Everything comes with a price, in terms of friendships, somehow priceless. Define priceless? Anyone?
Sometimes we tend to ponder upon this issue of friendships. How loyal do you think your friends are and how far will they go to prove that you are important to them? I had experienced and heard a lot of stories about fakeness and selfishness in friendships, mostly, from those youngsters living in the city, to be specific from the example I have mentioned, citizens of Kuala Lumpur (KL). Where most relationships or friendships mainly built upon the degree of popularity, beauty, wealth and influential people. (NOTE: any part of the world, city or town can also be an example but I chose KL since it’s where most of the scene happened to be) Unconsciously, many teenagers/youngsters do not realize how much they are burdened and pressured by all those social climber people and surroundings.
Maybe we shouldn’t just look at this on one point of view, maybe I shouldn’t state the name of the city, I could have mentioned other states but I didn’t. I think most people outside the city for instance, the Kelantanese are better at handling their peers even outside their original hometown. Throughout my observation, most of those who are brought up in a small town or pekan, they are good at maintaining their in-circle to a point when some of their hometown friends migrated to KL and in need of help, they would quickly jump to the rescue. Some people would define it as semangat kenegerian, which is to a certain extent, is something to be respected for, the closeness and loyalty to be specific minus the bias part. How grateful to have a friend like that? So concern and helpful in time of desperation.
Unlike the friend from the option (B) stated above, how can that kind of friend exist? Cant he/she come out with another plan that enable each one of them to join the party, especially one that is AFFORDABLE to all? Or is it TOO expensive to lend the money or offer some financial rescue, like sharing with the rest of the members in the crowd to pay for that one single broke-friend's rm10/12 ticket?? God forbid if you thought that you should spend the money for him/her, therefore, she/he has to be grateful to you for the rest of her/his life! Or inside your crazy mind, she/he will forget your generosity and it’s your stupidity for letting that friend using you to his/her advantages. *shaking head in utter disbelief*
What happen to unconditional love and friendships? Does it even exist? You start to ask yourself and wonder…. when this issue is arising, it always come back to that famous line, "that’s what friends are for"… err….right?
All these have nothing to do with anyone, it is just an observation, a share of experience and knowledge, not related to any individual but if you are deeply disturbed by this or became too emotional, it must have touched you somewhere deep down inside you. To all my friends, I love you all. If you need a real friend, I already give you that, but first, you have to be and act like one. To all friendships in the world. “Thank you.”
To be continued….
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